Saturday, 10 September 2016

HELP! My wife and her relatives have taken over our matrimonial home

Photo used only for illustrative purpose
I would like to start by saying I am very proud of you Kinnaka. I started following you right from your herbalife days. I am sure you are now an inspiration to many girls out there. Keep up with the handwork Cheri.

I am a Yaounde-based 35-year-old Banso man. I got married to my high school girlfriend 6 years ago, she is from Banso too.

5 years ago when our daughter was born, my mother-in-law left the village and moved in with us to help my wife look after our daughter. A year after that my wife's brother also left the village and joined us in Yaounde. Not long after that, my wife's cousin's daughter started University in Yaounde I, and my wife made arrangements for her to live with us while studying. Bear in mind that we live in a two bedroom house. Myself, my wife and our daughter share a room, my mother-in-law and my wife's cousin's daughter sleep in the second room and my wife's brother sleeps in the living room.

Since my mother-in-law moved in, my wife and I cannot make a decision without her involving her mother. Sometimes I feel like her mother is the "man" of the house. Her cousin's daughter has spent more than three years in Yaounde I and we have not seen a degree. We don't even know what year she is in because she always changes the topic when we ask her.

My wife is currently 6 months pregnant with our second child. I told my wife that two people have to go so that our daughter can join whosoever is in the second room and our new born baby can sleep in our room when he/she is born. My wife had an argument with me and has not talked to me for two weeks even though we sleep in the same bed.

I love my wife so much. If I were a rich man I would get a bigger house so that everyone could stay, but at the moment I am struggling to feed everyone. I know she reads this blog and will read this. Please advise us on what to do to bring peace or to make everyone happy.


  1. My Brother, that your wife needs to understand your stand. If you guys are sharing the upkeeping of that house 50/50 no problem. If not that her cousin should leave the house and you take care of your own family as you should. Na so they make us to run from marrying them. Some just take advantage of men. Be a man and take decisions. You can't allow her mum to take control. When you were growing up they weren't there and even your own family who stood by you is not enjoying their son. If there is money I have no problem to do charity work. You best know your financial situation because at the end of the day if you can't take care financially anymore your wife will still complain. It's not Worth it.No one should come to your house and make you want to go to a bigger place if you can't afford it. It's their business. Let them leave and come back when you have worked things out and have a bigger house. See me see trouble ohhh.

    1. I dont think thats a gd one bro... are you sure they ever talked over it? Communication i must say before condeming. Women are vulnerable by nature o.

  2. Bro nothing pass dialogue.if you've tried it out without a mutual understanding of your struggles you're putting in as a man ,then actor is the next move to better explain your mutual dialogue you thought you instilled into your wife's ears for respectful understanding you thought she'd be up're the man my brother stand on your decision you make henceforth be it the fact that u wanna just continue in this it's ok or you ain't gonna continue

  3. As a man so hope he acts like one too

  4. Take it to God in prayer. Your prayers will heal you and your family from the pain you are all going through. Prayers to St Jude for hopeless cases is recommended for such trying moments. I will mention you and your family in my own prayers.