Saturday, 11 June 2016

The day I caught my husband in bed with another man

Hello Kinnaka,

Thanks for all the good works on this platform. Please hide my identity as this is a very sensitive issue. My husband and I met while studying at IRIC in 2010 and got married three years ago.


He is a very sweet and gentle man except for one thing! Love making! My husband has never really been interested in love making ever since I met him. I can't remember him initiating sex at any point. I have to seduce him really hard or beg for it. We talked about it before marriage and he told me that sex was not every man's thing. 

At the beginning of this month something shocking happened! I took 3 days off work and went o visit my sick mother in Fontem. When I got to Fontem I realised that my mother was in better health than my sister who lives with her made it sound. I decided to go back to Yaounde after spending two days with her. I did not call my husband to tell him I was going to be home a day early. I wanted it to be a surprise.

When I got to our two bedroom apartment in Medong, I heard groaning sounds coming from our bedroom. My heart started raising! I couldn't believe my husband was cheating on me. I immediately went straight to the room and kicked the door down! Omg! Nothing in this life prepared me for what I saw that day. My husband was in bed with his "best friend"!

I woke up in hospital with my husband by my side. He looked so worried, he told me we should not discuss what happened in the hospital. He then also told me I was pregnant according to the doctor. I have been wishing for a baby for three years but the news did not make me forget the sight of my husband with another man in bed. Was he gay? I asked myself. I have heard stories about these things but never thought I knew or was married to one of them. 

After a day at the hospital the doctor said it was ok to go home. While home my husband told me it was the first time he had done that with his friend and that he will never do it again. He begged me not to leave him. Something in his voice told me he was lying. I knew it wasn't the first or the last time. 

KB readers, I don't know what to do. Should I stay in my marriage and share my husband with another man or walk away with my baby. I am 30 and I am afraid of starting all over again. Also what do I tell my friends and family? I feel so confused and ashamed. Am I not beautiful enough to satisfy my husband? Please help me... 

17 comments:

  1. Florence Tangeh11 June 2016 at 10:12

    Omgggggggg what a story!!!..
    Please my dear nobody can tell you what to do, but if I was in your shoes, im sorry to say this but I will leave him...is bad enough that as women we have to deal with our men cheating with other women,and now adding cheating with another man just makes it plain CRAZY!!..I believe this is not the first time his sleeping with a man, he has definitely done it before and will do it again...the question now is can you live with a man who sleeps with other Men?? When you answer that question, then you will have an answer to your dilemma...And don't worry about age, bc you will love and be love again...And beside your pregnant with the best gift God can ever give a woman...I will advice you focus on your pregnancy and on raisin your child...Men will come and go, but your child will Always be your child!!!...Don't be afraid to listen to your heart...Goodluck to you.

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  2. Please darling dont waste your time with a man who does not love you.You know what you've seen accept that.You could have spent years without knowing his secret so if God permitted that it s because he wanted you to know.If you stay with him your marriage will be a lie and am sure God did not created you to live such a pain.I am sure you re beautiful and there s a real man out there than could love you right and respect you.I know it s hard but please stay strong.Pray,rebuilt yourself and find the strengh to forgive your husband but go away from him.Im sure the little angel God send you will help you.

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  3. My dear,God is in control. If I were u,to be honest,I will leave him.He is not worth it.You can't practically beg your husband for sex.Just his attitude about sex should tell u something.he probably got married to you to hide his real identity.He doesn't love you but loves the protection you provide.Spiritually it's unacceptable.Leave that house and don't look back.

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  4. Hello, it is so sad to hear. So heart breaking. but it is up to you. you will of course get diverse conflicting ideas but at the end no one feels what you feel. no one can tell if he is serious or not but you. I have two suggestions, if you are not sure he is serious and your heart is not at peace, then it will hardly ever be. You are justified if you divorce him. However, i will strongly suggest trying to mend the relationship before deciding to quit. I know many will hate me for saying this, but homosexuality is a deep spiritual thing and you have to take the spiritual dimension. If the marriage should continue you have to set somethings straight. One should be, belonging and active in a bible practicing Church. the other is personal family spiritual time. Both you should should participate. He must know he need God`s intervention in his life. then he must be committed to spiritual growth. How well he engages in this will indicate to you if he is serious or not. if you have a trusted Pastor, discuss with your husband about telling the pastor for proper targeted follow up.

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  5. One mistake people make is to think that being gay is a choice. I have come to understand that most homosexuals cannot be straight even if they try to.The reason is that they are not themselves though they think so. Any true christian will understand that the devil can attack you and make you gay if your spiritual life is low. Here, the only solution is deliverance. There are many ex-gays who only got free after such a deliverance.
    My advice is that you take your husband to a pastor like Apostle John Chi in Buea. And have faith that God will help you, for wit out faith, nothing will happen. May the Lord be with you.

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  6. My dear, you are way too Young to suffer in silence. Ur life is in danger. You aren't dealing with just ur husband but your husband's best friend n I doubt if you will be able to stop him from seeing him ever n if you do, u can't monitor him 24/7. You need to fast n pray on this n seek God's intervention. Let your pastor n seek help from someone u truly trust who will not betray you. We have u in prayers...good luck. God is ur strength

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  7. My dear its a sad story but I believe everyone merits a second chance and if God permitted you to discover this disgusting side of him then it implies He has a plan.
    I'm not supporting his actions but come to think of your marriage vows at the altar, what shall be your motif for leaving him in the eyes of the world? Marriage is sacred so my suggestion is you give him a condition to stay; take him for deliverance because that's what he needs, take him for example for a spiritual retreat at the St Benedict's monastery at Mt Febe and have Monk Peter deliver him, it may take days, weeks or months but the essential thing at the end is you'll have saved you marriage and most important of all you'll have saved a soul.
    Remember Matthew 18:15-17 says 15"if your brother sins against you, go to him and show him his fault. But do it privately, just between yourselves. If he listens to you, you have won your brother back. 16 But if he will not listen to you, take one or two other persons with you, so that 'every accusation may be upheld by the testimony of two or more witnesses,' as the scripture says.17 And if he will not listen to them, then tell the whole thing to the church. Finally if he will not listen to the church, treat him as though he were a pagan or tax collector"
    In your case you need to talk him into quitting and proceed to the church for eventual deliverance because we are all sinners and have ran short of God's Glory in one way or the other, quitting him without sorting the face of God as a solution is the worst mistake to make. Please my dear bangwa sister God has a solution to all our problems, as earlier suggested take him for a spiritual retreat at the monastery prayers are on Wednesdays as from 8pm at the chapel and Saturdays from Midday at the Marian Grotto. You can attend mass at 8am tomorrow and pose your problem to Monk Peter before bringing him for prayers. That's my humble advice to seek solutions to saving that sacred sacrament of marriage.

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  8. Hi KB reader sorry for this shocking revelation.
    My dear first off you need to strengthen your relationship with God and hear from him. Remember your his Child blessed and highly favored. Waiting on the Lord and I wouldn't recomened fastings as you are pregnant and found it hard to conceive. So I will recommend you to keep meditating on God's word. Reading the book of John a chapter daily and meditating on it before you go to work. Then pray ps 91 and 23. The foundation always is seek ye first the kingdom of God and all his righteousness.
    In the course of this meditation. You need to look introspective back to when you first met your husband and also during the courting process and proposal of marriage. Was there an inclination to "NO" which you dismissed maybe as fear. that "something tell me say" kind of feeling. Your gut feeling what did it say. Was it go ahead or no. Take responsiblity and be honest with yourself. What ever choice you did make you should stand on it. For example if your gut feeling did tell you go ahead stand on your conviction. If your gut feeling told you No. Stand on the conviction that the Lord restoration and ask God for grace and receive his forgivness. Remember all things work together for good. God understands your choice and what ever influenced them.
    Next speak to your husband ( for you know it's only adultery that's the ground for divorce). Does your husband want to leave this lifestyle or condone? Does he want to stay in the marriage or not?

    If his answer is he wants to leave the lifestyle and stay in the marriage. Then he should confess before you and him and give his life to Christ. Curse the foundation of that perversion at it's very root In Jesus Christ name. Amen.
    Now some miracles happend immediately some strongholds are very stubborn especially perversion.

    Now please focus on Jesus Christ and not on the act of perversion. This is because if the Lord allows you for the revelation of the root of your husband's lifestyle, you will not understand. Like Peter keep focusing on God and be Patient.
    There are so many ways these demons try to establish strong holds in ones life. Just because you able by the Grace of God not to fall victim. Trust me the anointing is on you. I don't want to go in detail about it. So don't be hard on your husband. You remeber Jesus Christ is the head of your household and be courageous like Joshua and command the river to part IJN.
    Restoration is one of the key things you need. You need to build your faith it is done IJN. You need to see the manifestation here on earth.
    The desire will go away.
    To encourage you let me copy and paste testimony from another blog comment " A lady who discovered her husband with his best man on bed a week after their honeymoon was so devastated and on the verge of leaving the marriage when she was encountered. Through out courtship for 2 years, she never suspected them. In her case, the man begged asked her to leave if she want and bragged that he will not drop his "heartthrob". Well the lady was encouraged not to leave but to use the "weapon of love" which does not fail. She began to fast and pray and ask God earnestly to restore the man he married; to heal her home. It took 2 long years of agony but what happened next was stupefying,...."

    (My characters too long HTML couldn't accept READ PART TWO IN REPLY)

    God bless you shalom and Love in your household.

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    1. (PART TWO)

      "....It took 2 long years of agony but what happened next was stupefying, it was the "heartthrob" that found Christ first and broke the relationship. Next, the heartbroken man had nobody to lean on but his wife and that she did. It was the prowess of this lady in nursing the heartbroken husband that made him to experience salvation and the desire to "go through a man's butt" left."

      No matter the stronghold it will not establish or continue to be one if you DO NOT underline minister CONDEMNATION. so it's best for you all to handle this within your home. Have faith in God that there are people who are interceding for you. God doesn't remind anyone of their SINS. that's the devils job.
      He is the one to do the fasting and praying psalms. Ps 51, 91, 23 27 103and any inspired by the Holy Spirit. He should be bold to say the shop is closed. That void should be filled with the Love of Christ and meditate also book of John and 1 Cor 13.
      Do not live in fear both of you but live in Grace. Minister also to his best friend. Be honest to God and don't be like you are their savior. For God ask always to be personal Lord and Savior. Personal Lord and Savior so encourage them to have a relationship with God. And trust God that he minister to both of them and don't micro manage them it's not your calling that's based on fear. You have your own issues and God ministering to you.
      Now I don't recommend Pastors/Man of God/ Priest as your Lord and savior so I hope your get my drift. Some use this information to their advantage to condemn and milk money from one. Depends where they get their power from. Those not influenced by familar spirit might interceed for you from afar or give advice but will not want to be like the Lord and Savior of your life.

      I will tell you that there are so many people who are either lesbians or gay in marriages in Cameroon. There are others who try to initiate. The mission of the devil is for no procreation. So these assignments are imminent.
      You need to stand on the Grace of God and destroy any open doors. Don't worry about the later if He Lord shows you you will be informed. At the moment establish your relationship and when the inner man is strengthen and you know who you are in Christ there is no space for the devil to live in your flesh.

      Yes I didn't answer the question directly it's only God who knows the future.

      God bless you shalom and Love in your household.

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  9. Its easy to try to calm her down.Really wish this schema never happen to you mens of gods.My sister run that house............

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  10. The ultimate decision lies with you. Do what you think will keep you happy. You have no justification to give to whosoever regarding the path you choose to follow. Remember, you are heavy for him and he'll remain part of you whether or not you're out or decide to put in with him. Who says women can't enter new relationships at or after 30? It all depends on the motives you set for yourselves. Would he have forgiven you had the situation been the reverse? You could choose to explain to your parents only. But mind you, your well being, your happiness, your pride, ego, reputation, self-esteem, image all depends on you and the decision you make and this is if the decision doesn't infringe on the rights of others. Pray hard for God to direct you. It's sad, but it's happened. There's no door that's closed without another being opened elsewhere. Bless you!

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  11. Disclosure let everybody know. Our society is not for things like this. Let him go and get asylum in some western country and get someone to make his ass a gutter. Nonsense

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  12. You should really look into it.There is a lot of occultism nowadays.That is what is done in Cameroon government to get position.You should back down else you will be in a very long ride.That is not a coincidence.It is GOD opening your eyes.You will have yourself to blame in the future.You are already a target since you know their dirty secret

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  13. hello

    every one my name is melanie jenkie and i have been married for 4years and i have a break up with my husband 3months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster priest omigodo and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 48hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i come back to the house.

    i have never in my life believe in spell and but now it have just helped me and i am now so happy.

    Thanks to him and if you also want to have your lover back to yourself then his email is
    omigodoshrine@hotmail.co.uk

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    1. Hahahaha,wouna di scam for all side??? I wash hand for wouna, omigodoshrine@hotmail.co.uk ,i don die laugh.������

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  14. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony.

    I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address omigodoshrine@hotmail.co.uk have help a woman to get back her husband. and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband.
    his email : omigodoshrine@hotmail.co.uk

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  15. hello

    every one my name is melanie jenkie and i have been married for 4years and i have a break up with my husband 3months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster priest omigodo and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 48hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i come back to the house.

    i have never in my life believe in spell and but now it have just helped me and i am now so happy.

    Thanks to him and if you also want to have your lover back to yourself then his email is
    omigodoshrine@hotmail.co.uk

    ReplyDelete