Tuesday, 31 May 2016

My mother-in-law wants me to have intercourse with my husband's brother

Dear Kiki, thank you for this platform you have created and God continue to bless you. I need serious marital advice from KB readers. This is my story...

My husband is 13 years older than me and  I met him 6 years ago at a friend's wedding. He proposed to me on my 28th birthday after two years of dating and we got married the following year. While we were dating I made it very clear to him about my desire for a big family. I have always loved kids even though I am an only child. 

The first year of our marriage was really nice. Last year which is the second year of our marriage, I started getting stressed because I wasn't taking in since I wanted kids immediately we got married. My husband consoled me and told me not to worry that we will have a child in God's time. 

My prayer at the beginning of this year was to have a baby. All my friends who got married after me already have kids. The more people ask me when I am going to have kids the more I get depressed over the issue. I feel so empty and unfulfilled. 

Earlier this month, my mother-in-law visited us and made a shocking confession while my husband was out. She told me my husband had azoospermia (no sperm count) which is why his first marriage packed up. What! My husband never told me he was married before, and or the fact that he had azoospermia, I cried out. I was in shock! My whole marriage has been a lie! 

My mother-in-law went on to say that the whole family has decided that I should have intercourse with my brother's married younger brother, so I can get pregnant and the secret and shame will remain in the family. At this point I thought my mother-in-law has lost her mind. With a shivering voice, I asked her if his wife knew about the plan and she said no. It was between me and he two sons involved. I told her no! Never! I couldn't wait for my husband to come back home. So many questions he needed to answer!

He came back home when I was in bed crying and immediately fell on the floor by the bed and cried with me. He told me he loved me so much and told me God made him like this and he is just trying to find a way to deal with it since he knows how much I love kids. I looked in his eyes and saw pain and sadness and my heart sank. For a moment I forgot the fact that he lied to me. We cried together for almost and hour then he told me that he is sorry for not telling me about his marriage because then he would have had to tell me about his "embarrassing" condition. He also told that I should make my decision based upon what I can live with. 

The next morning I rang up my mother and told her. She was in disbelief! After a long 5 seconds of silence she told me that I should not do it. She also suggested adoption but I refused. I want my own child, my own blood. It has always been my dream. I wouldn't feel fulfilled with an adopted child I told her. Everyone who knows about the issue have told me to take time and think about it. 

I know my fulfillment and happiness will only come from having my own child so, should I go ahead and have the child with his brother or leave and find a fertile man? Please help me KB readers. 


10 comments:

  1. Hi there lady I can't even pronounce the name of your husband condition but I know a name that is stronger than that name. Jesus Christ. I have seen Him heal Cancer, heart conditions, seen the barren conceive in my church. With God All things are possible. Turn to Him. That is a prayer point. Take it to God with faith and you will find answers. Get a man of God to agree with you.

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  2. Hello my dear, be patient and know that nothing is impossible for the lord. The lord will surely interval and I won't recommend you to sleep with your husband's brother just to have a baby. You can adopt a baby and the lord will blessed u with your own from your husband not his brother who is married. Tell the mother in law that God's time is the best and you guys should pray and talk to your pastor. Please think again and don't sleep with your husband' brother because it's a sin and complications will definately arise. Please stay with your husband and the lord will definitely bless you abundantly.

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  3. No matter the love claim, your husband lied to you. If you are sure u love him, then let God have the final say, trust him for a miracle. But i do not think it is wrong to divorce him and get a man who will be truthful to you.

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  4. Your marriage is based on a lie so according to God and the civil law it's not valid. You can leave and marry someone else to get your biological children. But then children don't really give happy marriages if you think your husband is worth it then stay with him and adopt a child while praying for God's miracle. There are so many children out there who need love so your mom's advice is good. But I refuse having a baby with your brother-in-law...TROUBLE!!!!

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  5. It's not the end, azoospermia doesnt mean all sperms are dead. Depending on your location viable sperms can harvested and invivo or invitro fertilisation performed. That is the science and like the other readers mentioned Jesus Christ is the beginning and the end

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  6. I'll advise you not to cheat on your husband and to continue trusting God. I have a relative who got pregnant with her first child after over a decade of marriage. Just keep trusting God.

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  7. Okay let's be honest here. The husband hold a responsibility of telling her abt his situation. If you want to stay in a lie a suffer the consequences good for you girl bt dnt do Wat ur mother in law is asking you to do. I think ur marriage foundation is a lie pray hard it shldnt crumble. That's information u shld know before marriage ain't u wondering Wat secret is next? Na by force for married?

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  8. My dear, I think so far u have received good advice from d comments above. Nothing is impossible for God... and w advancement in science, based on ur means u can still have a child with ur husband. just research more on d options available for pple with his condition. Ur marriage can be annulled as well, both in church n court, but as dey say, to forgive is divine.....However ur final decision depends on how much u love your husband. all we can do here is to lay out your options and u weigh them yourself . but I'll say sleeping with his brother is digging ur own grave.

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  9. Do the insemination thing with the sperm of your brother inlaw and have your own kids while still with yr husband if you love him. Dats a practical thing

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  10. Girl,two wrongs don't make a right. Your husband lied to u,accepted but if u will stay true n trust God,ur hu sband will be made right before God. We africans believe babies call for babies. if only u will adopt and take care of a child that needs a family, ur blessing will come faster,remember Christ says if u did it for one of them(needy)then u did it for me (christ). It don't matter where the kid is from,u will have purpose and sth to take ur love,time an affection. God's ways are not urs,u remember Abraham and serah who had a baby old age,God is thesame thru ages and will not change in ur situation. U are a living testimony and just wait for its season. You are hard on urself,lovr ur husband still. As for ur mother inlaw and her adultriuos proposal,let her go sleep with her son herself,the devil is a liar n comes in all forms.

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