Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Please Help OH!!! My Husband is only interested in my "Back Door"

Sister abeg help me out! I am so confused now I don't even know what to do or who to talk to. I am a 36-year-old Cameroonian based in Germany. I rushed into marriage with a man I had only known for six months because I knew there was no time on my side anymore! I was 34 and he seemed keen enough and is from my tribe so we went straight to the alter. No word is good enough to express the relief and  joy when I finally got married.

The first two months of our marriage were really find. My husband who is 5 years younger than me and wasn't afraid to show the world I am his woman. One night after six months into our marriage, my husband told me he wanted to try anal sex. I was shocked at his wish but decided to go for it since he said it was his first time and he just wanted to know what it was like. I was in agony the moment my husband entered me through the "back door" still when he was done. He is a very big guy so I am sure you can imagine the sort pain I was in. I was not able to sit down for days even while at work but part of me was happy because my man was satisfied.

A week after our first anal sex, my husband told me he wanted more of it and before I knew it became and is still our routine. The painful part of it stopped after a few months, however something much worst replaced the pain. I can not hold feces in for long now. I went to a doctor and he said the ring-like muscle in my anus, called the anal sphincter, has become weak and if I do not stop anal sex immediately, I will need to wear diapers as I wouldn't be able to hold feces until I can get to the toilet.


I told my husband what the doctor said and he seem very unhappy about it. I am worried we might be heading for a divorce. I don't want to be alone at the age of 36, but on the other hand I am also worried about my health.

Please advise me KB readers. What should I do? Has anyone experienced this sort of demands in marriage? Please help me ohh abeg. 

Thanks Kinnaka's blog for letting me share my story here.



22 comments:

  1. Hi big sister,am just dumbfounded ! Sorry sis but know that your health is prime !

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  2. Because it makes him happy doesn't mean that you have to do all that he asked of you during intercourse.Your health first before any sexual pleasure which is detrimental to your health. Marriage is such a beautiful thing and every woman wants to get married but my Dear Sister marriage is not an end in itself. Forget about you not wanting to be single. You are married yet not happy and u worry about your health. My advice to u is do what is right and be happy.

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  3. You have the answer right him you. You can't be satisfying someone and killing yourself at the same time. It's better to be alone than go through this

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  6. Edit your work properly and check for grammatical errors. Or aren't you a professional?

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    1. @Anonymous 02:46 KB Narratives are written my blog readers and therefore not KB's duty to edit them. I enjoy the rawness of these narratives and if Kinnaka's blog edits them it will mess up the chemistry and the realness. Good Job kiki

      I am sorry to hear about your situation madam. I think you should leave him. A he is selfish and doesn't love you. Leave him before his selfish and desire for an anus kills you.

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  7. Hey lady run for your life. God does not support that. That marriage is not from God

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  8. divorce......#run4urlife

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  9. if making him happy costs u ur happiness den u cant afford him let him go

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  10. I have a few questions for you my lady:
    1. Have you ever wondered why you are so worried about pleasing him while he only cares about pleasuring himself?
    2. Do you think if you start smelling of shit and start wearing diapers he will continue to want to be with you?
    3. If you die today, are you sure he will be buried with you or stay single mourning you throughout his life?

    The best gift you can give yourself is to love and cherish yourself, people tend to see us the way we see ourselves. If you place high value on yourself others will value you and don't make the mistake of reducing yourself to the value others give you...you are worth far more tjan that.
    If you answer all the questions above in the negative, then this can be a starting point for your liberation. If you answer any of the questions in the affirmative, them you may need psycho social help. This guy is not worth your health or worse still your life.

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    1. I second your opinion. well said.
      Mrs the writing is on the wall "I rushed into marriage with a man I had only known for six months because I knew there was no time on my side anymore! "
      Fear influenced your decision.
      I applaud you for your honesty. That's courage. continue..

      Where does fear come from when we have no confidence that God loves you and you in turn love yourself.
      One of the fruits of fear is insecurity.
      Do you see how your conclusions are met based on fear.
      Afraid of divorce is more value to you than your well being.

      Learn to love yourself.
      Meditate on the word of God. Read the book of John, Ps23 insert your name.
      For the word of God is life. And life will build your spirit man.
      Fast once a week.
      Communion with your husband. If he doesn't embark, do it on your own.

      The courageous men like David and Joseph had the fundamental knowledge that God loves them.

      So call on God to take away that desire from your husband.
      Your husband also needs to know he is loved by God and loves himself. He wouldn't seeking for pleasure in an un*conform way.
      Lest you are unaware there are other implications to using the back door.
      I rather you face God loves you and put a stop to this sexual position. - Courage!

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  11. Hey big sis...ur health is d most important huni...if u damage ur system...he would have a reason to leave u and look for anoda lady he can enter thru her "back door"...but you might never have the chance to meet another person bcus you would be scared of what would always happen in the situation u might be in if your sytem is damaged. So please my dr...say a BIG NO' when next he asks you for that. He is a selfish and self centered guy. Dont be afraid...stay bold and confident many men would be out der searching for a woman like you..So give yourself the chance to be in good health and to meet someone else and someone better if in case you seperate with ur husband. Dnt destroy your future life for eternity bcus of your husband who dnt even care about you. Remain blessed and stay safe. God be with you my dr

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  12. Would u rather be married and sick and miserable?? You're a grown ass woman your health should come first! Do u wanna wear diapers for the rest of your life? If he knows the health risks and still demands it then he obviously doesn't love you and is probably gay(seeing as he only likes the anus) my sister abeg run u.divorce is not the end of the world.Mr right will come no matter how old u may be.God bless u

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  13. Hmmm life is something else sis pls your life is more important than the back door guy, u still have a life to leave marriage is a blessing not a sin, if you are not happy with him let it go girl

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  14. My dear your Man is in his prime and at this age that is what most of them do best. Its up to you to think about your health to satisfying a young man whose sexual urge does not agree with yours. Stop this age thing and concentrate on God. if taking care of your health will lead to a divorce so be it. Cos in less than no time he will be tired of that hole and will want to go out there and have another. mind you the more anal sex the more disastrous for you. I guess he said he wants something tight, well pounding you thru anal is making it weak by the day and you know the obvious. A man will come for you when its the right time and forget societal pressure. Marriage should be a blessing and thing of joy but it seems in your case it is more of pain. My 5 cents.

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  15. JESKO
    that guy most be a monster, he doesnt love you at all if not he won't be asking for divorce knowing fully well if he continues with that you will not only wear diapers but die from anal cancer, marriage is not all about sex neither getting married is a pre requisite for happiness be wise.

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  16. My dear, I am a married woman. If your husband can not respect you and understand you, then you shouldn't be with him. I understand it especially with the peer pressure society puts on us women. Marriage is not everything. Do not kill your self and be miserable for the rest of your life because of one man's sexual needs. You are a human being first and foremost. You are an amazing woman. You are all of these things first, before being a wife. And just the fact that you actually tried to please him shows how amazing and kind you are. But it ends there. If he wants to leave you because of it, my dear good riddance to bad rubbish!. He doesn't deserve you. Personally, I admire your courage. I will never do it. Courage my dear ! It isn't easy. We women suffer alot because of men.

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  17. divorce him without a blink...wtf

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  18. I have just one word for you,divorce him he is heartless ,any one enjoying what is destroying another is an animal.

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  19. choose between staying healthy in divorce or unhealthy wearing diapers in union.

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  20. You just have pray hard for him to stop doing it and letting him do it for the first time was your greatest mistake but all I can day is thst if he loves you then your health and well been would be his priority. If he loves you then he ought to feel the pain and agony you're going through. When next he ask for it tell him NO to his face and give your reasons both medical and psychological. Let him understand what your going through by doing that and after all that if he still insist then you just have to make the hard decision. That's my take on this matter

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