Sunday, 28 February 2016

I Was Raped By A Catholic Priest And This Is My Story

I am an ardent reader of Kinnaka's blog and yes I am also one of the anonymous people commenting. I am sharing my story not to discredit anyone but to as a some sort of therapy for me and who knows, someone out their might be in the same situation or learn. 


I come from a very religious family. My mother is a "Strong" Catholic Women Association (CWA) member and my dad a headmaster in one of the Catholic primary schools in the North West region of Cameroon. My family was and is still involved in all church activities and respected in the community even though we are not rich.

When I was 14-year-old I was a cadet in one of the programs in our local parish which was aimed developing all virtues in youths and encouraging them to live the exemplary life of Mary. I was a cadet of Mary. I loved it because all my friends were there and always played dodge-ball after meetings. My friends kept telling me the Parish priest treated me different from anyone else. He use to buy me little gifts like biscuits, sweets, chocolate etc. He also invited me to his office all the time to help him arrange papers or help clean. He was also a family friend so I thought that is why he was nice to me. On my 15th birthday Father Joe (real name withheld for privacy) invited me to his office and keyed the door. He had a very strange look on his face and asked me to come sit on his laps and presented me with chocolate he had bought as a birthday gift to me. He  then took my favourite t-shirt I was wearing at that time off. My breast just started growing so they were really painful. The next thing I knew his mouth was over my breast and his hands making their way in my pants. Let me safe you from the painful details of what happened that day in that room. All I can say is that father Joe raped me on my 15th birthday. He helped me clean up and then told me not to tell anyone or I will go to hell.

I was in agony for days! I stopped going to the cadet and would stay outside if father Joe was celebrating mass. After a month my parents noticed the change and after talking to me to no avail they asked father Joe to talk to me. I wanted to tell them he was the cause of the problem but was too scared. Father invited me to his office and raped me again! This time I had to tell someone. I ran home in tears and told my mother what happened. 

She invited my father to come listen to what I had to say and shockingly they didn't believe me. They blamed my best friend who's mother was labelled the community prostitute for teaching me immoral things. I was asked never to see or play with her again. Father Joe was invited to our house and what I told my parents was repeated to him by them and asked him to pray for me. Father Joe looked me in the eye and asked me why I was lying and trying to destroy him and my family.

Everything carried on as if nothing had happened and I started going to church again even though I was forced by my parents. Father Joe stopped giving me special treatment and instead treated me badly. There was one time he made me clean almost the whole church alone. I was lucky when he got transferred 4 months after I told my parents.

My parents never talked about the incident again still this date. They still don't believe me. My mother is still a "Strong" CWA member and my father almost going for retirement as headmaster. I grew up broken and angry. People ask me why I am so different from my two sisters and brother. My answer is I was raped by someone I respected and looked up to and as if that was not bad enough my protectors (parents) did not believe me and instead gave my rapist another chance to rape and destroy me again.

I still go to church, but only to pray with other people and not to celebrate the clergy men and women.

I hope my story can inspire parents to listen and investigate what their children tell them. If you have been through the same situation I am story and don't lose faith.

14 comments:

  1. He deserves no pity. Why withhold his name? He should be at his first victim. This is what happens when people are not called and become servants for their own reasons. If you are truely called, God will stand by you.

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  2. Sexual assault is the worst!thing thst ever happen to anyone. I know!it because i have been sexually assaulted 3 times by 3 different people. But interesting, i have forgiven them not because they deserve it but because i want my own internal peace.

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  3. Oh ....and you see them with long white regalia...this account is too touching !

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  4. I FEEL YOUR PAIN, WHEN YOU FORGIVE SOMEONE, YOU ARE LIBERATED. THAT PRIEST IS A FOOL DISGUISED TO BE WISE. PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT DEFINE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. REDEFINE YOURSELF AND FOCUS ON THINGS THAT GIVES YOU A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS.THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY.

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  5. My dear, this is not a story to bury like that.
    I understand fully well that it is a past which is worrying for you but you have a few reasons why you just can't let it go.
    If this man reaped you, chances are he must have done it many times to other girls. I don't know your age but obviously it's been a while. Talking with other cadets members or friends of yours might result to a point where; so many might own up and you realised that you are not alone. That probably everyone was afraid of coming out. Think again dear cuz he might be still doing it now!

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  6. Someone needs to expose that so called "Father Joe" or else he would keep on raping young gurls like that over and over. Who knows how many more young gurls he has raped from youe time...I'm guessing you shld be an adult by now. Its a big shame for that man...and a big insult to the catholic church. Eventually we pray he be caught by the law. He can neva go unpunished with committing such a grievious crime right in the House of God. He is a Wolf amg sheep in the House of God.

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    1. NK exposed her's how far has it gone?
      this girl is too young and might not be ready for the verbal abuses she will get..

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  7. "My answer is I was raped by someone I respected and looked up to and as if that was not bad enough my protectors (parents) did not believe me and instead gave my rapist another chance to rape and destroy me again."

    my dear shalom! keep meditating and praying psalm 23 daily. Restoration is the key. Please don,t focus on those who betrayed you and took advantage of you.
    Break every soul tie with that Priest IJN.

    Focus on God's love for you. Stand in the word and affirm yourself that God loves you. Speak of God's love. The word of God is life two edged sword. It will restore you. As you read the psalm out Loud put your name and as For God so Loved the world that he sent his only begotten son to die for me.
    The devil always try's to break those who are very strong. And you are a strong woman. I am so sorry what you have gone through. Please don't entertain the past. Any time it rises up, say Jesus Christ.
    The key in Life is to stand firm that God loves you.
    I know you ask y me, y. In due course you know the answer. For now lets deal with root of the problem. This act has coz alot psychologically and emotionally damage. Let the healing balm of the Lord heal you with his Love.
    From the above you might think you are unworthy and might even be a doormat, not able to stand up to any aggression.
    You having the courage to share your story shows you are VALUABLE, YOU ARE WORTHY. There are commenters who have solution. And it's the process of the healing balm of God, you get answers here. NEVER DOUBT YOUR WORTH.
    Focus on Jesus Christ and let God judge all mankind. Look up to Jesus Christ and take communion daily.

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  8. .......anonynous story, anonymous Fr. Joe.....

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  9. The so called Father is still out there booming other kids.I think you don't care about the other Cadets so keep on hiding his name. This story is surely from banso and I suspect the author and father in question.

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  10. If this story is true,you should denounce this priest to his bishop.Unfortunately,God has only sinners to deal with in this world.Even the priests.

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  11. Not seen any trustworthy father yet so I would rather they get married and safe young girls the rape. They even hide their real identities and sleep around with girls from different cities. A father once told me he can have a kid but can't get married. He travels to Europe in the name of seminar and sleep with women randomly. Father Joe is still out there abusing innocent children who see him as Jésus. Why not pin him down before he destroys other kids like he did to you? One of my friends was impregnated by a father while a student at saint beads. Wolf in sheep cloth say father.why rape kids when sisters Dem plenty too for church?

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  12. My Dear, this is a very sensitive issue and I think u have to take responsibility over what you say by revealing your identify and exposing the perpetrator. It is only on such counts that we can feel the authenticity of your story and help u.

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  13. If you do not feel like revealing your Identity please dont. It takes alot of courage to do so and ones you are not ready rape culture will further break just as ur parents didn't believe ur story many wouldnt. Just try to seek counselling and talk to young cadets to be more careful with men. I am a rape survivor and I know exactly what it feels. Was raped over 15 years ago countless times and I still have nightmares about it but recently I décidé to unlock my pain. I am very vocal about it and talk about my experience where ever I find myself. I still get back lashes from people who say I'm just telling a movie. If I want ready to come out and speak comments like that would have drawn me to an early grave. Just try as much as possible to seek counselling and when you are ready speak up and she the stupid father Joe. Your story will help many young girls out there and bring an end to these stupid cowards who prove their masculinity by raping innocent girls. My heart goes out to you and if you are reading this and u need coaching in any way please comment on this and I will get intouch with u.

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